18.05.24

I woke up at 4.00 this morning. Usual reason for a man of my age. However, I got back into bed and just knew that I wasn't going to get back to sleep. Too many thoughts crowding my head. Missing Siobhan like crazy, well that is never going to change but having too many worries: have I got enough gear for the Camino, am I going to make it, am I going to raise enough money, is it worth doing this blog if nobody is reading it etc.?

So, I got up and dressed in my training gear, pulled on my boots and headed out of the door with my earphones in and tuned to Radio 2. Well, it was dark and cool which was oddly welcoming. I felt totally alone with my thoughts. There was nobody about and no noise of cars and not even the distraction of the beautiful views. I listened to an item on ABBA, Sophie Ellis Bexter and a rerun of a live set from Dexys Midnight runners at Glastonbury. Suddenly, as the dawn came and the countryside was bathed in that beautiful soft early morning light, I realised that it there was no point in worrying about things I cant change. I will keep at this blog because even if nobody else reads it, it will always be a digital diary of an amazing journey. I will make it to Santiago because John won´t let me fail and I need to do it for the charity and my own salvation. If nobody else donates, I know that I couldn't have done anything else.

The night that Siobhan died, I came home exhausted and climbed into bed half hoping that the night would never end but the dawn came up as it always does and you know that you must carry on. I thought about it the other day and realised that Siobhan and I are like two streams that have separated but will come back together in the future.

As I walked my the Feria ground in my town, the tents are erected for this years celebration. as they were last year and will be next year